Northern Lights
by Ninth Lady
Summary: There's not a lot left of me anymore - just leave it alone. Snickers.


Northern Lights  
By Ninth Lady

A/N: First part is set during the "Dead/Living Doll" episodes. It's been a while, so I'm not sure which one. However, the second part complete ignores anything Season 8. Snickers. Please read, respond, and enjoy! Thanks!

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Sometimes Nick didn't really know where it all began. If one took a bundle of yarn, threw it around, and then re-rolled it haphazardly, the mess would be the equivalent of how Nick felt about his life.

It was messy, disgustingly messy. Not to mention complicated, and Nick hated the complicated most of all. Messes could be cleaned up eventually, but complex things had a funny way of getting worse before exploding in one's face like a bomb on a short fuse. The last thing he needed right now was a ticking bomb on his hands.

In his opinion, he had taken the news of Sara and Grissom's secret relationship beautifully. It had been shocking, of course, and heartbreaking to know that he would never get the opportunity to act upon his feelings. However, he had also felt rage when Grissom had come to the sudden realization that Sara had been taken away because of him. If the rest of the team had not been present, as well as a table separating the two men, Nick's fist would have connected with the side of Grissom's jaw before anyone could get a word in edgewise.

Self-restraint had come in handy and Nick had remained cool until Grissom's departure. He calmly excused himself and walked up all six flights of stairs until he reached the roof of the building. Once there, he had begun to punch the wall until his knuckles were raw and his body hurt from containing his grief.

Sara was out in the desert somewhere, trapped underneath a car and waiting to die. The very thought of it simultaneously hurt his head and heart. Sara, the woman he had admired from afar for so long because she was 'the bosses girl' was really with their boss, and she was really going to die because of their boss.

Nick gritted his teeth until his jaw ached. Finally he let himself slump to the floor in defeat. He ran a hand through his hair and let out a breathe he had not been aware he had been holding.

"I'll find you Sunshine, just hang on a bit longer."

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Sara hated the smell of her new apartment. It reeked of roach killer and too many exploded microwave meals. Still, she would have to make do for the moment. House hunting in San Francisco was not a sudden affair.

Treacle, her cat, sat in the window surveying the people walking down below. Sara wondered what the cat was thinking and how she was feeling. Treacle had been rather quiet since their move a few weeks ago and Sara was hoping it was simply because Treacle had not adjusted to life in San Francisco yet.

Turning her back on the cat, Sara sat down on the couch and glanced through her selection of magazines and books. Her initial thought was to read a forensics journal, but she quickly reminded herself that reading it would only cause her to miss Vegas more than absolutely necessary. She had left for a reason, and regret would play no part in it now.

Instead Sara decided to try and finish the book she had picked up on the free rack at the library just before she left Las Vegas. Leaning forward, Sara browsed her music library on her laptop before finally settling on an artist to listen to. Her final selection was Tori Amos, whom Sara secretly listened to somewhat religiously. Her songs always seemed to touch parts of Sara's soul and aspects of her feelings that alone she could not reach. Only with Tori Amos' music would Sara let her walls and pride down enough to cry and mourn. Setting the player to random, Sara leaned back and picked the book back up, getting ready to read and maybe have a good cry. She had certainly had a lot of those since her sudden departure from Sin City.

Her pale hands wandered over the dog-eared book and she absentmindedly traced the letters on the cover, absorbing them as if there was a hidden message contained within the title. "'Saving Fish from Drowning,'" she read aloud to no one in particular. The title had drawn her initially, and the backstory explaining the title had kept her reading. The title had come from a story where a Burmese fisherman had caught fish, and then layed them out on the beach. The fish struggled and flopped around, desperate to be back in the water. The fisherman told them not to struggle, after all, he was doing them a favour. He was saving them from drowning. The fish stopped struggling soon enough and died. A little saddened, the fisherman then collected the dead fish to sell. After all, there was no sense in wasting them.

The book had no real relevance to her current situation, but the title still propelled her to continue reading. Turning to the page she had marked, Sara continued to read the book. The music served as background noise that helped to soothe her soul as she continued to read about the doomed tourists. A good hour and half later, the beginnings of a song brought her out of her reading and compelled her to listen closely.

'Amber Waves' was playing, a song about a friend of the album's main character, Scarlet. The girl had moved to L.A. and become a porn star, and now she was done with. She had been used up and spat out. So she and Scarlet decide to take a trip to see the Northern Lights, and she asks Scarlet to leave the pieces of her as they are, because there isn't that much left.

_You said "he's got a Healing Machine,  
it glows in the dark, glows in the dark."  
You say "there's not a lot of me  
left anymore - just leave it alone.  
But if you're by and you have the time,  
tell the Northern Lights to keep shining  
Lately it seems like they're drowning"  
_

Sara sang along softly, gently letting the words absorb, letting them untangle the mess in her heart a bit. Leaning her head back on the couch, Sara let out a breathe she had not even realized she had been holding.

It was almost time for her shift to begin. She had begun working at the San Francisco crime lab almost as soon as she had arrived in the city. Her old boss was surprised, yet pleased to see her return. It had not been her intent to get her old job back, but she was pleasantly surprised when he offered her the position that was equivalent to her job back in Vegas. Her mouth had accepted for her, before her brain could truly compute what was happening. The beaming smile on her old supervisor's face prevented her from changing her mind.

"I'm going to go shower," Sara told Treacle, whom had now found her way onto the couch and was preparing for a nap. The cat looked up at her momentarily before letting out a meow that Sara knew to be an affirmative. Smiling to herself, Sara turned the music up and wandered down to the small bathroom.

Two hours later, she found herself comparing fingerprints found at a crime scene the previous shift had investigated. Her focus was so strong that she did not even hear when one of her co-workers entered the room until they gently tapped her on the shoulder. She glanced up and recognized the man to be Nate, a fellow CSI that their supervisor always seemed to pair her up with.

Nate motioned towards the door, "The receptionist tells me you have a visitor." A slender eyebrow shot to the ceiling. "A what?" She mouthed, unsure as to whether the cotton feeling in her mouth and dropping sensation in her stomach were due to having been glued to the microscope for so long or her fear of whom might have come all the way to the lab to visit her.

"Here," Nate motioned again, "I'll escort you." Sara rolled her eyes at his playful banter, way too reminiscent of Nick to allow her to be comfortable in it. They chatted briefly as they made the short trip towards the reception area. Sara stopped just short of the entrance, shock and surprise taking over her body. Nate glanced back towards her. "Yeah, you never mentioned you had a boyfriend. He seems pretty worried about you."

Sara kept her eyes on the floor. "He's not my boyfriend, Nate." The CSI shrugged and kept his voice even. "Whatever you say Sara." Ignoring his comment, Sara took a step forward as quietly as she could muster. Lyrics were ringing in her head as she walked towards the person leaning against the counter, speaking politely with the older receptionist.

_You say "there's not a lot of me left anymore - just leave it alone."  
_

She swallowed hard and tried to move her face into a pleasant mask that would not betray her shock, dismay, and utter relief. Saying goodbye had been the hardest part about leaving Vegas, and saying goodbye to Nick had been excruciatingly difficult.

He had been the only one allowed to see her off at the airport. At the gate, he had held her for ten minutes, stroking her back and kissing the top of her head. She had cried in his arms, something she had not even done when she told Grissom it was over shortly before she put in her resignation. At the final boarding call, Nick had kissed her on her forehead and murmured that he loved her. Still choking on her sobs, Sara leaned up and kissed him on the lips. "I love you too," she had whispered.

That had been the last time she had seen him, and the mask instantly fell when the person finally turned to face her.

"Hey Sunshine."

Pulling her lips into a tight smile, Sara nodded a little before managing to squeak out a 'hello' in response. Nick Stokes shifted a bit, unsure as to what to say next, or what he had even expected.

"Want to get some coffee?" Sara found herself replying yes before she even had time to process the question, let alone formulate the appropriate response. They both grinned for a moment, before Sara realized that he was just as nervous and unsure about this as she was.

The quick walk to the coffee shop was silent as they both pretended not to be sneaking glances at each other when they thought the other was not looking. When they were finally sat at a booth with coffee in hand, they decided to break their mutual silence.

"So," Nick began, "you're still doing CSI work." Sara nodded before taking a sip of her coffee. "Do they treat you well here?"

A small smile graced her face before it disappeared behind the cup again. "Yes Nick, they do."

A gently smile crossed his lips as he gazed at her. "We've missed you."

Sara sighed gently and placed her cup down on the multi-coloured table. "I've missed you guys as well. How has everyone been?"

"Oh you know, same old same old. The new girl just isn't as good as you, but she's alright. Besides missing you, everyone hasn't changed." He finished the sentence with another sip of coffeee.

Sara smiled a little and the two proceeded to chat a bit about Sara's new job, the latest forensics journal, and what colour Greg's hair would be next. She found herself laughing and smiling harder than she had in months, and it felt wonderful. After their second cups of coffee were nearly finished Sara decided it was time to ask the million dollar that had been weighing on her mind ever since she had seen him leaning against the receptionist's counter.

"Why did you come to see me?"

The question doused the carefree atmosphere instantly, and Nick cleared his throat before leveling his gaze with her own. Sara felt a blush creep to her cheeks as their eyes met. Nick broke the gaze first, choosing then to respond.

"I missed you."

Sara swallowed hard. "You didn't come all the way over to San Francisco, then turn up at my job to tell me you missed me."

Nick chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his neck, a sign that told Sara he was incredible nervous about what he was about to say next.

"Well...ummm, truthfully I was there early because I have paperwork I need to fill out..."

"For a case?"

"No...to finish reassigning me here."

While she was sure it was rude, Sara could not help but let out a gasp. Nick was transfering the San Francisco CSI lab? Nick was moving to San Francisco? She could barely believe what she had heard. Why on earth would he uproot his comfortable life in Las Vegas to move to San Francisco? Questions swirled around in her mind as she attempted to make sense of what this meant. When she finally looked at him, she could see that Nick was grinning sheepishly as he tried to decipher if her shock was a good or bad thing.

"I hope you don't mind-"

No!" Sara cut him off, before covering her mouth as she realized that she had spoken. "Not at all, actually..." She played with a loose strand of hair nervously. "Actually I am really glad you did." Her answer was careful, and she hoped it didn't give away the happiness that had just spread through her body. "Change is good."

The Texan's smile broadened instantly and Sara felt her own smiling growing to mirror Nick's.

"Do you have a place yet?"

Nick shook his head. "Nah, I'm staying at a motel for the moment."

Not even missing a beat, "Well stay at my place then."

Nick nodded, and the pair sat their beaming at each other before Nick got up and offered his hand to her. Sara took it without question and the two walked out of the coffee shop, hand in hand. She didn't even know how they had jumped to this, but somehow Sara knew that San Francisco would be a start of a new life for the two of them, together.

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A/N: The novel mentioned is 'Saving Fish from Drowing' by Amy Tan. It's a really good book, should anyone care to read it.

The song is 'Amber Waves' by Tori Amos, which can be found on the album 'Scarlet's Walk.' She's by far, my favourite singer and all her works are excellent.


End file.
